


"Sometimes I wish you were a different person.”

by pass76



Series: 30 DAYS, 30 FICS [7]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek says the L word, M/M, Scott is back yay!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 19:20:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16582520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pass76/pseuds/pass76
Summary: “You’ve just become so embedded within my life, losing you would be like losing myself,” Derek finally says. For a second Derek could swear he saw a look of adoration sweep across Stiles face, a look usually only ever reserved for Scott. “So whether or not you go through with this plan please try not to die.”20-25





	"Sometimes I wish you were a different person.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry that I am back latter than I originally promised *hangs head in shame*
> 
> I think that this was one of my favorites to write so I hope that you enjoy reading it just as much as I enjoyed writting it. Ilove you guys, thank you for supporting me :)

“You can’t do this to him again and again,” Derek says, running his hands through his hair. He was frustrated at Scott, but no matter how frustrated he got he refused to get in his face.

“He hasn’t asked me to stop,” Scott says.

“Because he won’t and he never will. You know that just as much as I do that he will never ask you to stop. No matter how tired he is, no matter how stupid the plan sounds, no matter if he lives or die. He will do it time after time and you can’t keep forcing him to do these things,” Derek was angry now, his voice rising the more that he talked.

“Do you think that I like putting my friend in danger?” Scott asks, throwing his hands in the air.

“At this rate I would say that yes, you do,” Derek answers frankly, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his chair.

Scott had called another pack meeting to deal with yet another threat to Beacon Hills. Derek was so used to this by now that he stopped keeping track of what new creature or things had put the people of Beacon Hills in trouble again. Derek can’t even remember the one that it was this week.

“Don’t pretend that you care about him,” Scott says. Scott seemed to know that wasn’t what he should have said because Derek can feel his face get murderous.

“I don’t pretend. I care about him,” Derek relaxes back in his chair, “probably more than I should.”

Scott pulls out a chair and sits down next to Derek. “I’m sorry,” Scott says, patting Derek on the arm.

“No it’s okay. I get it, the stress.”

“I know, I hate that I keep putting his life in danger, but being the emissary,” Scott says trailing off.

“I know,” Derek starts, “plus he’s human.”

“He never complains,” Scott says. Scott was now sitting back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest. “He just goes along with the plan regardless of what it is. I hate him for that.”

“Yeah, me too,” Derek answers when the doorbell rings.

The meeting went as they usually do, talking about the plan and Lydia making last minute research plans to see about if there are any other options than putting someone’s life on the line. It was all very routine, which should be sad. Derek always wondered whether or not the Nematon will ever lose its power, if it will ever stop calling the supernatural to Beacon Hills.

After the meeting is over Stiles and Derek head to the little burger and fry shop near the university that has always been Stiles favorite place to eat. Derek orders the same thing that he always does and Stiles orders the next thing down the menu. It makes Derek smile at the familiarity of it, how used he was to sitting across from Stiles at a table.

He was unprepared for how attached he ended up to Stiles. The friendship and companionship felt like how it used to feel with his siblings and parents. Stiles was Derek’s anchor. Derek knew it years ago but he wasn’t willing to change it, something about it just felt very _right_.

And even though it felt right, sometimes it felt very overwhelming and heart wrenching at the same time. It hurt him to love Stiles, to have Stiles be a part of him and for him to be a part of Stiles. It hurt because he loved him and to lose him would be so terrible that Derek doesn’t know if he could ever bounce back from it.

It would be what finally broke him. Broke him to the point of no return.

“You alright?” Stiles asks, cocking his head to the side, looking like a small puppy. Derek felt his heart swell with affection.

“Hm?” Derek asks, shaking his head and taking a bite of his burger.

“You were staring off into space you big dork,” Stiles says, reaching across the table to take a sip of Derek’s milkshake.

Derek takes a moment and watches as Stiles puts his milkshake back, something about the simple gesture makes something in Derek’s stomach flip flop before settling down again.

“I don’t want you to go through with the plan,” Derek says, not moving his eyes from Stiles face. His features were more grown up now that he was in school. His stubble was staring to come in thicker, his jaw sharper, and his eyes more bright than Derek can ever remember them.

Stiles tilts his head at him, watching as Derek takes a sip of his own milkshake.

“Y’know sometimes I wish that you were a different person,” Derek says, refusing to meet Stiles eyes over the table.

“Why?” Stiles asks, his voice low and tender like Derek had just rubbed him raw with one simple statement.

“Because if you were different then maybe it would be easier,” Derek says, thinking about all the times Sties had continuously put his life on the line, only to do it again and again.

“What do you mean?” Stiles asks, his tone still hurt and shy, like he was afraid of the answer that he was going to be given.

“It’s hard,” Derek says, taking a sip of his milk shake.

“What’s hard?” Stiles asks, shoving a few curly fries in his mouth before chewing.

“Loving you,” Derek says, staring at Stiles as his hand freezes halfway to his mouth. Stiles chokes a bit before Derek plows on. “I’ve never had a friend like you, I think that if I lost you I wouldn’t be able to come back. I’ve come back from a lot of stuff, but I think that would be it for me.”

“Why?” Stiles asks. Derek watches him as he cocks his head to the side, watching Derek.

Derek thinks about it for a minute. There are many reasons why. The fact that Stiles was now his anchor, the fact that he was his friend, the fact that he was so intertwined within Derek, within his families land. There where many answers that Derek could give Stiles but none of them seemed like they would be enough. Derek was never good with words, and affectionate words even less than that.

“You’ve just become so embedded within my life, losing you would be like losing myself,” Derek finally says. For a second Derek could swear he saw a look of adoration sweep across Stiles face, a look usually only ever reserved for Scott. “So whether or not you go through with this plan please try not to die.”

“Scouts honor,” Stiles says, placing one hand on his heart and saluting Derek with the other. Stiles.

Derek shakes his head at him and lowers his head so Stiles can’t see the grin that’s spreading across his face.

“Aw don’t hide Der, I know you love me,” Stiles says, poking Derek’s bicep with his fingers. “I know you do.”

Derek shakes his head again and smiles at his plate of food.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyways same Derek and Stiles as before just at a different time. I recently put ages into the summary so maybe that will make the timeline a little easier to uderstand. 
> 
>  
> 
> a small glimpse into my life: I got a new job that I'm actually pretty stoked to start (!!!!), I'll be going to see the new Fantastic Beast mvie on Saturday and I'm even more excited for that. Anyays hope all of you are doing well nd ejoyed this read. Leave me your thoughts down bellow.
> 
> thank u, next


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